The Vivekean Times

O, pretty little lizard Sitting on my wall, Sometimes in my bedroom, Sometimes in  my hall. We don't require any pesticides With you loitering about, 'Cause you kill all the cockroaches, And make the ants move out. People always admire cats and dogs And neglect you the entire day, But this doesn't bother you at all As you crawl in search of prey.

Devastated that my friend did not "like" my Facebook post (while reading it right in front of me) and now realising that he was in the right; I, as someone who analyses the impact of social networking on modern civilisation (i.e. a social networking reformer - if it's a term) hereby recommend the replacement of the (vague) Like button on Facebook with the following three specific, relevant and user-friendly buttons: 1) Like - Because I Know You 2) Like - Because I actually like your post 3) Like - Because I expect you to like my future posts in return Kindly share this so that the Facebook community is aware of this recommendation. BTW, I haven't thought about the Share button as yet! (As posted by me on Facebook)

(A Political Satire as it first appeared on indolink.com and in 'Rose Gardens and Minefields', a literary bhel puri published in 2010) It was a hot flinter aftermoon on the Planet Zrrxy. The God shield had been switched on while the Tellicans discussed a top-secret mission. This shield was used by the inhabitants to ward off the presence of the almighty from the vicinity of their planet. Nothing, no sound, light or matter could penetrate this shield. It was the ultimate invention. The Tellicans were a creative race whose influence had spread throughout the universe. There are many wild rumors about this ambitious race. Some say that they are the aliens who hover over earth in flying saucers with the intention of monitoring the progress of humanity on the planet. Some even say that the Supreme Being was created by this technologically advanced race. These Tellicans were alleged to possess the most dangerous of all inventions viz. The Universe Reverser. This device could re...

“If you tossed a stone up in the air, it  would fall down upon either a pig or a  Pereira” was an old Bandra saying. In  places like Chuim or Chimbai, the  prevalent version ended with “a pig or  a Fernandes.” Apparently, since there  are hardly any pigs left in Bandra, the   Pereiras and Fernandes have eaten  them all up. But there has been a steady  decline in the number of Pereiras and  Fernandes in this area as well, due to   such factors as migration, the high cost  of real estate and the pressure tactics  employed by unscrupulous builders.  No longer do we see those beautiful  cottages with their breath-taking gar dens. Bandra has indeed changed a lot  and mostly for the worse.   We now live in a concrete jungle  filled with malls, shopping centres,  eateries and mobile stores. This con crete  jungle  bustles  with  humans  but  is  devoid...

I have been picking up and browsing, treading my way carefully through the minefields, yet taking time to smell the fragrance of the roses. I found it to be a delightful collection – a veritable ’bhel puri’, a combination of political, religious, moral values to satisfy all tastes and appetites. I was impressed by your reflections in the poems ‘Philosophy of life’, ’Pleasure’, ’Love’ ’ Dreamer’, Thinking,’ and the touch of humour in, ’Trying to enter Heaven,’ and ‘The Husband’ and the note of sadness in ’Agony’ and ‘Night after Christmas’. The essays ’Sport in India’ gives a good insight into Indian sport and Indian sporting legends past and present. ’Tryst with Destiny’ gives a sweeping view of Indian history and the hopes and expectations of a nation while your ‘Mumbai for all’ reveals a true Maharashtrian-East Indian spirit and love for our culture and heritage….I could go on…however, I will conclude by saying that the book as you so well said in your introduction is a literary col...

“If you tossed a stone up in the air, it  would fall down upon either a pig or a  Pereira” was an old Bandra saying. In  places like Chuim or Chimbai, the  prevalent version ended with “a pig or  a Fernandes.” Apparently, since there  are hardly any pigs left in Bandra, the   Pereiras and Fernandes have eaten  them all up. But there has been a steady  decline in the number of Pereiras and  Fernandes in this area as well, due to   such factors as migration, the high cost  of real estate and the pressure tactics  employed by unscrupulous builders.  No longer do we see those beautiful  cottages with their breath-taking gar dens. Bandra has indeed changed a lot  and mostly for the worse.   We now live in a concrete jungle  filled with malls, shopping centres,  eateries and mobile stores. This con crete jungle bustles with humans but is  devoid of humanity. It is a “might is...

O, pretty little lizard Sitting on my wall, Sometimes in my bedroom, Sometimes in  my hall. We don't require any pesticides With you loitering about, 'Cause you kill all the cockroaches, And make the ants move out. People always admire cats and dogs And neglect you the entire day, But this doesn't bother you at all As you crawl in search of prey.

Devastated that my friend did not "like" my Facebook post (while reading it right in front of me) and now realising that he was in the right; I, as someone who analyses the impact of social networking on modern civilisation (i.e. a social networking reformer - if it's a term) hereby recommend the replacement of the (vague) Like button on Facebook with the following three specific, relevant and user-friendly buttons: 1) Like - Because I Know You 2) Like - Because I actually like your post 3) Like - Because I expect you to like my future posts in return Kindly share this so that the Facebook community is aware of this recommendation. BTW, I haven't thought about the Share button as yet! (As posted by me on Facebook)

Rose Gardens and Minefields,  a  collection of my finest poems, short stories and essays was published last month. This book was published by Leadstart/Frogbooks. It's a must-read. It will entertain and enlighten you. It shreds the veil from the face of the Dark Age. No, I'm not referring to the past dark ages but the present one where people blindly follow dictators, tyrants, terrorists, other fools (politicians, religious nuts, etc), instincts, and the evil path. Yes, the earth has become more hellish than hell itself. We use our logic in a warped manner to justify horrendous acts of violence, genocide, murder, infanticide, etc and we think we are smart. For example, oh he's a poor farmer living below the poverty line...he had to kill his young daughter because he could n't afford her dowry. If you were in his place, you would understand....Understand, my foot. This is precisely the Dark Ages, I m talking about as there is a thick cloud of bigotry which ...

I have been picking up and browsing, treading my way carefully through the minefields, yet taking time to smell the fragrance of the roses. I found it to be a delightful collection – a veritable ’bhel puri’, a combination of political, religious, moral values to satisfy all tastes and appetites. I was impressed by your reflections in the poems ‘Philosophy of life’, ’Pleasure’, ’Love’ ’ Dreamer’, Thinking,’ and the touch of humour in, ’Trying to enter Heaven,’ and ‘The Husband’ and the note of sadness in ’Agony’ and ‘Night after Christmas’. The essays ’Sport in India’ gives a good insight into Indian sport and Indian sporting legends past and present. ’Tryst with Destiny’ gives a sweeping view of Indian history and the hopes and expectations of a nation while your ‘Mumbai for all’ reveals a true Maharashtrian-East Indian spirit and love for our culture and heritage….I could go on…however, I will conclude by saying that the book as you so well said in your introduction is a literary col...

My book "Rose Gardens and Minefields" had received critical acclaim from a top book review site, Indian Book Reviews. I had submitted my book for the review over a year ago and hundreds of books were reviewed in that period. Didn't know what it would turn out like, but I was thoroughly pleased with the outcome. Check out this fabulous review at http://www.indianbookreviews.com/2012/07/16/a-little-bit-of-this-and-that/ For the uninitiated, "Rose Gardens and Minefields" is a compilation of poems, short stories and essays that cover a plethora of topics. It was published by Leadstart Publishers under their Frogbooks/Virgin Leaf imprint a couple of years ago. This book can be purchased at a sum below Rs 100 or $2 at various book stores across India including some Landmark outlets, Happy Book Store (Bandra) and Granth (Juhu). You can even purchase it online at Amazon and Flipkart.com. Happy Reading!!!

This is just to let you know that my book "Rose Gardens and Minefields" has received critical acclaim from a top book review site, Indian Book Reviews. I had submitted my book for the review over a year ago and hundreds of books were reviewed in this period. Didn't know what it would turn out like, but I'm thoroughly pleased with the outcome. Check out this fabulous review at http://www.indianbookreviews.com/2012/07/16/a-little-bit-of-this-and-that/ For the blissful ones, "Rose Gardens and Minefields" is a compilation of poems, short stories and essays that cover a plethora of topics. It was published by Leadstart Publishers under their Frogbooks/Virgin Leaf imprint a couple of years ago. You can refer to the review and the Wikipedia entry for a better understanding. This book can be purchased at a sum below Rs 100 or $2 at various book stores across India including some Landmark outlets, Happy Book Store (Bandra) and Granth (Juhu). You can even purchase ...

They have decided to make Pranab Mukherjee the Indian president with retrospective effect for the period 1995 - 2000!  (An original Vivekean quote/tweet)  Explanation: As this tweet confused people on twittersphere Retrospective: Applying to the past (when not existing or applicable formerly.) So, just as Vodafone did not have a tax liability for a particular period earlier but Pranab Mukherjee has arbitrarily now decided to tax them retrospectively for the said period. Similarly, we're now making him President retrospectively for the period 1995-2000 - a position he had not held earlier.  

“If you tossed a stone up in the air, it would fall down upon either a pig or a Pereira” was an old Bandra saying. In places like Chuim or Chimbai, the prevalent version ended with “a pig or a Fernandes.” Apparently, since there are hardly any pigs left in Bandra, the  Pereiras and Fernandes have eaten them all up. But there has been a steady decline in the number of Pereiras and Fernandes in this area as well, due to   such factors as migration, the high cost of real estate and the pressure tactics employed by unscrupulous builders. No longer do we see those beautiful cottages with their breath-taking gar dens. Bandra has indeed changed a lot and mostly for the worse.   We now live in a concrete jungle filled with malls, shopping centres, eateries and mobile stores. This con crete jungle bustles with humans but is devoid of humanity. It is a “might is right” world where kinfolk slap court cases on each other. This is a far cry from   the  Bandr...

Hi, I just thought of composing an ode to a lizard. Here it is: An Ode to a Lizard    -   Vivek Pereira O, pretty little lizard Sitting on my wall, Sometimes in my bedroom, Sometimes in  my hall. We don't require any pesticides With you loitering about, 'Cause you kill all the cockroaches, And make the ants move out. People always admire cats and dogs And neglect you the entire day, But this doesn't bother you at all As you crawl in search of prey.

Devastated that my friend did not "like" my Facebook post (while reading it right in front of me) and now realising that he was in the right; I, as someone who analyses the impact of social networking on modern civilisation (i.e. a social networking reformer - if it's a term) hereby recommend the replacement of the (vague) Like button on Facebook with the following three specific, relevant and user-friendly buttons: 1) Like - Because I Know You 2) Like - Because I actually like your post 3) Like - Because I expect you to like my future posts in return Kindly share this so that the Facebook community is aware of this recommendation. BTW, I haven't thought about the Share button as yet! (As posted by me on Facebook)

Here's a short verse composed by me. It's purely fictional and not based on any personal experiences. Love Aur Nafrat She peppered him with kisses Until he made her his missus; Now she gives him only gaalis, And beats him up with thalis.

The Husband is the family head The brains are his wife, He is the one who earns the bread Which she ruins with her knife. The husband works hard all day And when he returns home, His wife will look up and say "Here comes the dirty Gnome". Taking the Hint, he has his bath And sits down for some leisure, From nowhere her naggings suddenly start Then they vanish with his pleasure. He wears his clothes with wounded sulks As they go on a shopping spree, She keeps on purchasing objects in bulks Till they finally run out of money. His wallet empty, he inserts the key And dumps the cargo in Then they settle for a cup of tea She expresses her satisfaction with a grin. He switches on the idiot box While she prepares their dinner, She changes the channel with defensive talks Without a struggle, she emerges winner. The husband slumps to sleep at last Till the dawn eventually breaks, He encounters her once more at breakfast Funny looking faces she mak...

Juliet: (to herself) Which one of my boyfriends could it be knocking at my bedroom window at this unearthly hour? Oh, it’s Romeo!!! Juliet: (To Romeo) Romeo, you bledy bugger – What are you up to, men? Get down from the tree before you fall and break your b…...” Romeo: I climbest this tree to express my love for thou – a love that can survive tempests and tsunamis. Juliet: Romeo, dearest, dost thou havest – a car, a flat, or an ipad? Romeo: I haveth none of the above. Juliet: Then how dost thou dare to love? Thou livest in a fool’s paradise. I cannot love thee. Romeo: I just inherited a cool million from an uncle who passed away. He was quite a rich dude. The cash is in the bank. Juliet: I truly love thee now, my Romeo. Romeo: Why dost thou not respond to my SMSes, my darling? Thou knowest how much I love thee especially after thou went under the plastic surgeon’s scalpel. Juliet: A Daniel, still say I, a second Daniel! Romeo: I think that’s from the “Mercha...

'Twere Twenty-Two Twinkling Twilight Tweets Tweeted on Twitter by Twelve Tweeting Twits!!! Often when things are bitter, I visit the mighty Twitter; and then compose an awesome tweet, and life is once again sweet!! That fellow’s followers flew over the flyover and fell over the four lovers  Osama did meet 72 virgins after his “martyrdom”. The virgins were male suicide bombers brainwashed by Al Qaeda.