'Twas The Night After Christmas

 (A Parody on X'mas written at the start of the Millennium)

'Twas the night after Christmas, when partying was done,
The world had got drained of all the laughter and fun,
Empty booze bottles lay scattered around,
Ambitious Christmas dreams had crashed on the ground .

The feelings of peace, love and goodwill had gone,
Men fought and quarrelled till the break of the dawn,
Sorrow and depression were replacing happiness and cheer,
This would be the trend until Christmas next year.

The shopping spree was over, the money had vanished,
The spirit of Christmas had been altogether banished,
The decorations so beautiful, no one admired them any more,
This joyous, merry season had become a bore.

I sat on the sofa, a frown on my face,
My world was in tatters, I was losing the race,
My wife had been crying, her eyes were quite red,
She cursed me so fiercely, I wished I was dead.

The children were sad, no smile did they give,
Their cheeks stained with tears, they were learning to live,
For their fantasy world had been smashed into parts,
The new gifts were broken, and so were their hearts.

I opened the door, and went for a stroll,
When I bumped into Santa, the legend from the North Pole,
His face was not merry, his shoulders drooped low,
This icon of Christmas had nowhere to go.

"I distributed no presents, my elves were on strike",
He told me very sadly, "They wanted a hike";
I left the poor creature alone in the cold,
There was no love for life but only for gold.

The warmth of the season, it had turned into ice,
Since mankind had forgotten the art of being nice,
'Twas the night after Christmas, when most of us sighed,
For the magic of Christmas had faded and died.

Romeo and Juliet: An Updated Version for Bandra Buggers

Juliet: (to herself) Which one of my boyfriends could it be knocking at my bedroom window at this unearthly hour? Oh, it’s Romeo!!!

Juliet: (To Romeo) Romeo, you bledy bugger – What are you up to, men? Get down from the tree before you fall and break your b…...”

Romeo: I climbest this tree to express my love for thou – a love that can survive tempests and tsunamis.

Juliet: Romeo, dearest, dost thou havest – a car, a flat, or an ipad?

Romeo: I haveth none of the above.

Juliet: Then how dost thou dare to love? Thou livest in a fool’s paradise. I cannot love thee.

Romeo: I just inherited a cool million from an uncle who passed away. He was quite a rich dude. The cash is in the bank.

Juliet: I truly love thee now, my Romeo.

Romeo: Why dost thou not respond to my SMSes, my darling? Thou knowest how much I love thee especially after thou went under the plastic surgeon’s scalpel.

Juliet: A Daniel, still say I, a second Daniel!

Romeo: I think that’s from the “Merchant of Venice”.

Juliet: Oops! I’m acting in it as well.

Romeo: Anyways, Juliet, I simply adoreth your beautiful blue eye lenses and your brown hair so immaculately dyed.

Juliet: So what shall we do now, my hero? My parents cannot stand the sight of you…I mean thou or whatever.

Romeo: Let’s run away and have a long-term live-in relationship.

Juliet: What about killing ourselves with poison?

Romeo: Okey dokey, my love. Your wish is my command.

Juliet: I was just kidding – I’m not a loser like you. Get lost, creep.

Romeo: OK. I’ll try to patao Bianca from tomorrow onwards. Any idea if she’s still single and ready to mingle.