'Twas The Night After Christmas

 (A Parody on X'mas written at the start of the Millennium)

'Twas the night after Christmas, when partying was done,
The world had got drained of all the laughter and fun,
Empty booze bottles lay scattered around,
Ambitious Christmas dreams had crashed on the ground .

The feelings of peace, love and goodwill had gone,
Men fought and quarrelled till the break of the dawn,
Sorrow and depression were replacing happiness and cheer,
This would be the trend until Christmas next year.

The shopping spree was over, the money had vanished,
The spirit of Christmas had been altogether banished,
The decorations so beautiful, no one admired them any more,
This joyous, merry season had become a bore.

I sat on the sofa, a frown on my face,
My world was in tatters, I was losing the race,
My wife had been crying, her eyes were quite red,
She cursed me so fiercely, I wished I was dead.

The children were sad, no smile did they give,
Their cheeks stained with tears, they were learning to live,
For their fantasy world had been smashed into parts,
The new gifts were broken, and so were their hearts.

I opened the door, and went for a stroll,
When I bumped into Santa, the legend from the North Pole,
His face was not merry, his shoulders drooped low,
This icon of Christmas had nowhere to go.

"I distributed no presents, my elves were on strike",
He told me very sadly, "They wanted a hike";
I left the poor creature alone in the cold,
There was no love for life but only for gold.

The warmth of the season, it had turned into ice,
Since mankind had forgotten the art of being nice,
'Twas the night after Christmas, when most of us sighed,
For the magic of Christmas had faded and died.

Christmathon 2014: Modi Claus is Coming to Town....on an Adani Jet

You better watch out

For you will only cry

Better not smile,

I'm telling you why,

Modi Claus is coming to town!

He's making a fake encounter list

and checking it twice,

While CBI books online citizens

who were naughty not nice

Modi Claus will perform Ghar Vapsi in town!

Sahib spies on girls when they're sleeping,

He knows when they're awake,

He knows when Minorities are good or bad,

Remember Gujarat 2002 for Goodness Sake!

You better watch out

For you will only cry

Better not smile,

I'm telling you why,

Modi Claus is coming to town!

(We will conclude with the famous Christmas poem "T'was the night before Good Governance Day")

Christmathon 2014: Smriti, the Egg faced Mantri

Smriti the egg-faced Mantri

had a very long, long nose,

and every time she lies,

One inch longer it grows.

All of the other Mantris,

used to laugh and call her names,

they never let poor Smriti,

play in any right wing games!

Then one smoggy Good Governance Eve,

Modi came to say,

"Smriti with your nose so long,

why don't you sing a Sanghi song"

Then how the mantris loved her,

as she flashed her fake Yale Degree,

Smriti, the egg-faced Mantri,

is distorting texts of Indian History!

(Note: Our next carol is "Modi Claus is Coming to Town....on an Adani Jet")

Christmathon 2014: I'm dreaming of a Swachh Bharat

Welcome to our Christmathon! This year we celebrate this joyous occasion with the proper fine-tuning of our content that is desperately needed, given the changed political climate in our country. So, we have modified some of the popular Christmas Carols and poems for the benefit of our more "patriotic" readers. 

All school and college students are supposed to learn these poems and songs online on Good Governance Day i.e. 25th December, which by a strange coincidence happens to be a major festival of non-Indian origin that has been imported from the West i.e. Israel.

Here's a sample verse:

I'm dreaming of a Swachh Bharat,

Just like the one we never knew;

Where history books burn,

and children heads turn

to hear the sound of riots from which they eschew!

I'm dreaming of a Swachh Bharat,

With every Good Governance essays we write;

May your diet be veggie and teetotaled,

and may all your Good Governance days be DRY!!

Dear Readers, here's wishing you all a Merry Good Governance Day and a Swachh New Year!

(Note: Our next carol is entitled  'Smriti the egg-faced Mantri')

'Twas the night after Christmas

'Twas the night after Christmas, when partying was done,
The world had got drained of all the laughter and fun,
Empty booze bottles lay scattered around,
Ambitious Christmas dreams had crashed on the ground .

The feelings of peace, love and goodwill had gone,
Men fought and quarreled till the break of the dawn,
Sorrow and depression were replacing happiness and cheer,
This would be the trend until Christmas next year.

The shopping spree was over, the money had vanished,
The spirit of Christmas had been altogether banished,
The decorations so beautiful, no one admired them any more,
This joyous, merry season had become a bore.

I sat on the sofa, a frown on my face,
My world was in tatters, I was losing the race,
My wife had been crying, her eyes were quite red,
She cursed me so fiercely, I wished I was dead.

The children were sad, no smile did they give,
Their cheeks stained with tears, they were learning to live,
For their fantasy world had been smashed into parts,
The new gifts were broken, and so were their hearts.

I opened the door, and went for a stroll,
When I bumped into Santa, the legend from the North Pole,
His face was not merry, his shoulders drooped low,
This icon of Christmas had nowhere to go.

"I distributed no presents, my elves were on strike",
He told me very sadly, "They wanted a hike";
I left the poor creature alone in the cold,
There was no love for life but only for gold.

The warmth of the season, it had turned into ice,
Since mankind had forgotten the art of being nice,
'Twas the night after Christmas, when most of us sighed,
For the magic of Christmas had faded and died.