Gutter Level of Politics on Display in the Indian Parliament

I'm really fed up of the gutter level of politics we have seen this parliamentary session. What else can you expect when many of our MPs have been accused of murder, rape and kidnapping! We need to keep both the morons and criminals away from the sanctity of our parliament houses. Let's vote in more honest business leaders, sportsmen, social activists and broadminded people. In my opinion, our parliamentarians should be banned from debating. They should work for just 1 day per session and pass or dump bills without debate. Even the speeches of big politicians like Rahul Gandhi, Smriti Irani and Narendra Modi lacked depth, being basically 'Tu-Tu Mein-Mein' speeches laced with mudslinging and hollowness - but praised by their fans....Rahul and Modi made a feeble attempt at standup comedy, which sounded hilarious to their desperate fan clubs.

One of the gems from Rahul Gandhi was "I will speak. But they will not let me speak because they are scared. They are scared of what I will speak." Yeah, really?

Not to be outdone, Smriti defended accusations of her role in Rohit Vemula's suicide with "A mother who gives birth cannot take lives." Which judge or jury on earth will buy this silly emotional Saas-bahu type argument? It's poor defence indeed for thousands of mothers have killed people including their own spouses and children. Smriti went on to condemn a Dalit festival that celebrates a "demon " but mocks Goddess Durga, without ascertaining that a sitting BJP MP had actually attended that festival!

There is also a fallout on the JNU incident with the left being branded as "anti-national ", while they respond by calling the right "fascists" and "treacherous stooges of the British during the independence struggle". Then the right replies with the charge that many left wing politicians supported China even during the 1962 Indo-China war.

As the blame game and mud slinging goes on endlessly, the citizens of India are the ultimate losers!

Acche Din Aanewale *conditions apply

(A fictional Shakespearean speech by Amit Shah, Narendra Modi’s Mark Anthony - conceptualisation and translation by Vivek Pereira)

Fiends, Minorities and other second-class citizens, lend me your ears (or we’ll chop them right off and take them during the next riots, anyways). I come to praise NaMo not to bury him. The evil that men do lives after us. Goodness was never in my bones. So it is with NaMo. The noble Uma Bharati had once called Modi ‘Vinash Purush’ and he responded with “Et tu, Uma” and then took the help of the RSS to vanquish her. For NaMo is an honourable man…if you do not count his role in the 2002 riots and its subsequent cover-up, Snoopgate, various fake encounters, corrupt crony capitalistic dealings with Adani-Ambani, his disdainful treatment of senior leaders like Jaswant Singh, Advani, etc.

The next to wound him grievously was Smriti Irani, the saas-cum-bahu who announced that she would go on a fast unto death - in line with Ekta Kapoor’s ‘Acche Sanskaar’ - if Modi did not step down as CM. Godrej, other business leaders and human right activists then threatened to punish NaMo for the 2002 riots. But ambition is made of sterner stuff. His critics became astonishingly silent with threats, awards and fair compensation. Ratan Tata received an award from the ruling Vajpayee government and got land for his dream project: the highly unimaginative Nano. Business leaders now started flocking around Modi with sheer greed and elastic principles. But NaMo is an honourable man and he rewarded them for their support many times over. Then, he targeted top cops like Sanjiv Bhatt who saved many lives during the riots but claimed that Modi was far from innocent during the mayhem.  

And thought the ghosts of Gujarat continued to haunt, Modi became the BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate and promised the Indian electorate “Acche Din” in his campaign if he was voted in to power at the centre. And now he has won by a huge margin to become the Prime Minister of India. But NaMo is an honourable man and if you are surprised that there are ‘bure din’ instead of ‘acche din’ for you, then you probably did not read the “CONDITIONS APPLY” disclaimer in your haste to remove the UPA Government or rather the “Vatican-backed Delhi Sultanate.” For "acche din" would be delivered to you only if the following CONDITIONS are met: The horrific socio-political instability in the Middle East improves dramatically, oil prices fall mysteriously (instead of moving upwards), Sanghis stop persecuting minorities, neighbouring countries become genuinely friendly towards India and Pigs learn to fly.

Yes, it will be Acche Din for you if you are an Ambani or Adani, a rioter (such as member of the Hindu Rashtra Sena) who targets minorities, a union minister with a track record of rape, an HRD minister who has illegally fudged her educational qualifications, right wing activists like Col Purohit involved in terror plots, corrupt fascist politicians involved in scams in MP and Karnataka, international oil companies and people like Saheb and myself, Amit Shah, who are now in a position to quash the multitudes of potential cases against us and have started conjuring riot-like situations in states like UP and Maharashtra which are going to the polls! Yes, it is truly acche din for ‘honourable’ men like us.