Showing posts with label best indian author. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best indian author. Show all posts

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Free and Instant Access to the Initial 3 Chapters of Indians in Pakistan Novel

Wow, this is cool! Here's free and instant access to the Initial 3 Chapters of Indians in Pakistan - This format is very easy on the eyes - Just click the Read First Chapter Free button below the book's image at http://www.shelfari.com/books/37956227/Indians-in-Pakistan

Quotes from the book



  • “All this simply shows us that communalism and terrorism are nothing but opposite sides of the same coin. They keep feeding on each other in a vicious cycle, resulting in a society full of violence, hatred, sorrow and intolerance. Every communal act is used as a justification for mindless acts of terrorism . Similarly , each act of terrorism is used as a justification for such horrible atrocities like genocide and ethnic cleansing. And, it is always the innocent who get killed. This is the sad truth.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “‘Now relax and enjoy as much as you can. After we reach the camp, there will be no time for relaxation and enjoyment.’”
    Lieutenant Ashraf

  • “‘We love Kashmiris and we want to give them their rights. We train them, arm them, fund them and help them sneak into India. Everyone in Pakistan including the government, the military, the border rangers, the intelligence services and the ordinary citizens are helping the Kashmiri militant groups. Inshallah, they will defeat the Indian army and the Kashmir problem will be solved.’”
    Razzak, the Trainer

  • “‘All of you are taking the Kashmiris for a ride. Besides, most of the terrorist outfits fighting in Kashmir like the Lashkar and the Jaish-e-Mohammed have hardly any Kashmiri recruits. Most of their recruits are from Punjab or the FATA region.’”
    Irfan, the reluctant jihadi

  • “‘Please don’t be upset. The last thing in the world I want is to see you upset and that too with me. It’s terrifying to see your beautiful eyes turn red with anger.’”
    Zameer (to Najma)

  • “That day shall remain etched in my memory for as long as I live. How can I ever forget the gruesome execution of the Kashmiri rebel by his own friend? How can I ever forget the informative lecture delivered by Razzak on the emergence and proliferation of Islamic extremism all over the world? How can I ever forget those wonderful words of approval from the mouth of Najma’s own cousin? How can I ever forget the warm hug and that affectionate kiss which together intensified the flame of love burning in the hearts of two jihadis from different countries and diverse cultural backgrounds?”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “‘We’ll be showing all the Indians a video tomorrow, Commander Sharif. Our footage on the Gujarat riots has got corrupted. We’ll be showing them footage of the recent Karachi riots instead and pretend that it’s Gujarat. Believe me the footage is equally gruesome and they won’t be able to tell the difference.’”
    Razzak, the Trainer

  • “The miraculous power of love has often been underestimated just like we underestimate sleep. Most of the herculean tasks performed by men were possible because they had been deeply in love and had slept well the night before.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “Sometimes, the thrill of an adventure vanishes shortly after the starting point is crossed.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “Let’s face it the experiment called Pakistan is a failure. You cannot make up a nation based on religion alone. See how it’s crumbling. First the east went way and became Bangladesh. Now Baluchistan is threatening to break loose. Kashmir will never be theirs. Sindhis hate Punjabis and Mohajirs. Punjabis hate Pashtuns and Sindhis. The Sunnis, Shias and Ahmediyas in Pakistan simply hate each other. Look how Pakistan has destroyed Afghanistan by creating the Taliban. Do you want to be with them? I think India is a thousand times better!”
    Salim, an Indian Jihadi

  • “It is too bad that most Olympians do not train as hard as the Lashkar jihadis whose main aim in life is to kill people.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “There was no fear in his eyes, no sweat on his face and no tremor in his body while he spoke. Of course, he did not speak the truth, but the truth, in this case, would definitely not have set us free.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “‘The ISI became a dominant power broker in Pakistan and the international arena thanks to the aid the US government, China and the Saudis gave them over the years. American aid has also helped our fledgling nuclear program. The government and ISI keep blaming the US for everything but most of them owe their existence and success to the generous American aid.’”
    Najma, the Pakistan Jihadi

  • “Was it possible that the emotion of love had somehow made me more susceptible to fear? Does the noble emotion of love make us start valuing our own lives and the lives of our loved ones more so that the feeling of fear creeps into our mindset?”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “I would take my beloved Najma to my country so that she would taste secularism and true freedom. How wrong I was! How wrong we all were! Unfortunately, you truly miss what you have had all along and taken for granted (in this case the spirit of secularism and true freedom) only once you actually lose it.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “Now smiling had been something almost alien to me just a few weeks ago. But over this short period of time, I had rediscovered this art thanks to that noble emotion of love. Joy that had been bottled up inside since childhood now overcame me from deep within just like the healing water reaching folks at hot springs from regions deep below the surface.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “Thanks for the proposal. But there is someone else whom I love dearly. I cannot say ‘yes’ to you because of him. In fact, I cannot say ‘yes’ to you because I do not love you at all. Yes, and this is not the ‘Yes’ you want; yes - I admire your skill set and your work and respect you as a person, but I do not love you.”
    Najma, the Pakistani Jihadi

  • “And so we continued to live in fear, hoping that we would not get caught. Fear had become our constant companion at this dreadful Lashkar-e-Taiba camp.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “Let’s face it. There are good people and bad people everywhere. Illiteracy, poor education, wars, greed , corruption and similar factors were responsible for the problems in both India and Pakistan. Religious fanatics benefited from these factors and developed formidable socio-political strongholds in both countries.”
    Narrator (Zameer)

  • “I never thought that I would be saying these words. I would rather have died than utter these words a few months ago. But my whole mindset had undergone a drastic change since then. The Amir’s speech was the straw that broke the back of my jihadi resolve. In fact, I now secretly resolved that my personal jihad would be against the evil Pakistan-sponsored jihadi movement that focused on slaughtering innocent civilians.”
    Narrator (Zameer)


Saturday, March 5, 2016

Bizarre Trailer of Indians in Pakistan, the Exciting Novel on Terrorism

Gutter Level of Politics on Display in the Indian Parliament


I'm really fed up of the gutter level of politics we have seen this parliamentary session. What else can you expect when many of our MPs have been accused of murder, rape and kidnapping! We need to keep both the morons and criminals away from the sanctity of our parliament houses. Let's vote in more honest business leaders, sportsmen, social activists and broadminded people. In my opinion, our parliamentarians should be banned from debating. They should work for just 1 day per session and pass or dump bills without debate. Even the speeches of big politicians like Rahul Gandhi, Smriti Irani and Narendra Modi lacked depth, being basically 'Tu-Tu Mein-Mein' speeches laced with mudslinging and hollowness - but praised by their fans....Rahul and Modi made a feeble attempt at standup comedy, which sounded hilarious to their desperate fan clubs.

One of the gems from Rahul Gandhi was "I will speak. But they will not let me speak because they are scared. They are scared of what I will speak." Yeah, really?

Not to be outdone, Smriti defended accusations of her role in Rohit Vemula's suicide with "A mother who gives birth cannot take lives." Which judge or jury on earth will buy this silly emotional Saas-bahu type argument? It's poor defence indeed for thousands of mothers have killed people including their own spouses and children. Smriti went on to condemn a Dalit festival that celebrates a "demon " but mocks Goddess Durga, without ascertaining that a sitting BJP MP had actually attended that festival!

There is also a fallout on the JNU incident with the left being branded as "anti-national ", while they respond by calling the right "fascists" and "treacherous stooges of the British during the independence struggle". Then the right replies with the charge that many left wing politicians supported China even during the 1962 Indo-China war.

As the blame game and mud slinging goes on endlessly, the citizens of India are the ultimate losers!

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Valentine's Day Blues

(I present before you once again that lovely poem I wrote for Valentine's Day. I had composed it literally overnight for the Bandra Buzz, our local newspaper.)

Tears streamed down his face again

As Valentine’s Day approached;

For on that day a year ago

David’s heart had been crushed.



His Valentine had ditched him then

And mated with his foe;

It had taken him a really long time

To recover from this blow.



So, David vowed to shun this day

But Fate had other plans,

For he consented to a Blind Date theme:

A dinner and a dance.



And there she was in front of him

A damsel blessed with grace;

‘Twas her smile our hero loved the best

It beautified her face.



They strolled out together arm in arm,

Two strangers so in love;

He whispered sweet nothings to her

Then presented a clay dove.



“Take this bird and remember me,”

 David told his Valentine;

“For I shall be forever yours,

And, my dear, you shall be mine.”

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Romeo and Juliet: An Updated Version for Bandra Buggers


Juliet: (to herself) Which one of my boyfriends could it be knocking at my bedroom window at this unearthly hour? Oh, it’s Romeo!!!

Juliet: (To Romeo) Romeo, you bledy bugger – What are you up to, men? Get down from the tree before you fall and break your b…...”

Romeo: I climbest this tree to express my love for thou – a love that can survive tempests and tsunamis.

Juliet: Romeo, dearest, dost thou havest – a car, a flat, or an ipad?

Romeo: I haveth none of the above.

Juliet: Then how dost thou dare to love? Thou livest in a fool’s paradise. I cannot love thee.

Romeo: I just inherited a cool million from an uncle who passed away. He was quite a rich dude. The cash is in the bank.

Juliet: I truly love thee now, my Romeo.

Romeo: Why dost thou not respond to my SMSes, my darling? Thou knowest how much I love thee especially after thou went under the plastic surgeon’s scalpel.

Juliet: A Daniel, still say I, a second Daniel!

Romeo: I think that’s from the “Merchant of Venice”.

Juliet: Oops! I’m acting in it as well.

Romeo: Anyways, Juliet, I simply adoreth your beautiful blue eye lenses and your brown hair so immaculately dyed.

Juliet: So what shall we do now, my hero? My parents cannot stand the sight of you…I mean thou or whatever.

Romeo: Let’s run away and have a long-term live-in relationship.

Juliet: What about killing ourselves with poison?

Romeo: Okey dokey, my love. Your wish is my command.

Juliet: I was just kidding – I’m not a loser like you. Get lost, creep.

Romeo: OK. I’ll try to patao Bianca from tomorrow onwards. Any idea if she’s still single and ready to mingle.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Bizarre Trailer of Indians in Pakistan, the Exciting Novel on Terrorism

My Suggestions to the Indian Govt, recommending a new anti-terrorism policy

My Suggestions to the Indian Govt, recommending a new anti-terrorism policy:
1) Hang all terrorists currently on death row within the next three months and send a strong message to all terrorists. The Government would need considerable assistance from the President and the courts to achieve this deadline.
2) Frame a new tough anti-terror law after reaching a consensus between political parties, the judiciary and the civil society. Representatives of each of these sections must process the bill in a drafting committee before it goes to the standing committee of parliament at the preliminary stage.
3) The new law must be stringent and based on past or existing legislations that have worked before. It must also consider existing terror laws in US and other countries which have managed to curb terrorism to some extent in the past decade or so. The legislation must be drafted such that it is not maliciously misused by biased authorities against members of particular communities.
4) Death sentences must be liberally dished out to terrorists once it has been established that they have been involved in acts of terror. Existing laws must be amended to recommend the harshest possible punishment for those indulging in terrorist activities.
5) Strict action must also be taken on those who provide a support system for these terrorists. The authorities must act on those who provide shelter, finance and other kinds of assistance to these sadists.
6) India must halt all talks with Pakistan until we are satisfied that not a single entity in the Pakistani government, armed forces and intelligent services are involved in the promotion or support of India-centric terror.
7) India must expose Pakistan’s sponsorship of terrorism in our country at various international forums, meetings and conventions especially at the United Nations.
8) The Govt must ban all communal political or social outfits which espouse violence against Indians based on their race, creed, caste or beliefs.
9) Police reforms and training is very essential in the fight against terror. Law enforcement agencies should be provided state-of-the-art weapons and gear to fight terrorists.
10) Citizens as individuals or in groups should assist law enforcement agents in the fight against terror in their individual capacity.
11) High rewards must be dished out to people who provide valuable information on terrorists. The reward scheme must be well publicized and commensurate with the kind of information given.
12) The NIA and RAW must be restructured and better organized to tackle the menace of terror. The new structure should be based on the Homeland Security of the US that has done a great job thus far. Terror-related information must be centralized and actionable inputs should be given as soon as possible to the various stakeholders like the state governments, local police, etc.
13) We should work with other governments and their law enforcement agencies in the fight against terror. Extradition treaties must be sought with almost every nation on this planet.
14) Our intelligence agencies must penetrate global terror networks with the aid of informants.
15) CCTVs and other anti-terror infrastructure should be available at strategic locations in major cities and towns. Each city should also have an NSG (commando) hub so that it can get speedy assistance in case of another 26/11 type of attack.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentine’s Day Blues

(I present before you once again that lovely poem I wrote for Valentine's Day. I had composed it literally overnight for the Bandra Buzz, our local newspaper.)

Tears streamed down his face again

As Valentine’s Day approached;

For on that day a year ago

David’s heart had been crushed.



His Valentine had ditched him then

And mated with his foe;

It had taken him a really long time

To recover from this blow.



So, David vowed to shun this day

But Fate had other plans,

For he consented to a Blind Date theme:

A dinner and a dance.



And there she was in front of him

A damsel blessed with grace;

‘Twas her smile our hero loved the best

It beautified her face.



They strolled out together arm in arm,

Two strangers so in love;

He whispered sweet nothings to her

Then presented a clay dove.



“Take this bird and remember me,”

 David told his Valentine;

“For I shall be forever yours,

And, my dear, you shall be mine.”

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

My Suggestions to the Indian Govt, recommending a new anti-terrorism policy

My Suggestions to the Indian Govt, recommending a new anti-terrorism policy:
1) Hang all terrorists currently on death row within the next three months and send a strong message to all terrorists. The Government would need considerable assistance from the President and the courts to achieve this deadline.
2) Frame a new tough anti-terror law after reaching a consensus between political parties, the judiciary and the civil society. Representatives of each of these sections must process the bill in a drafting committee before it goes to the standing committee of parliament at the preliminary stage.
3) The new law must be stringent and based on past or existing legislations that have worked before. It must also consider existing terror laws in US and other countries which have managed to curb terrorism to some extent in the past decade or so. The legislation must be drafted such that it is not maliciously misused by biased authorities against members of particular communities.
4) Death sentences must be liberally dished out to terrorists once it has been established that they have been involved in acts of terror. Existing laws must be amended to recommend the harshest possible punishment for those indulging in terrorist activities.
5) Strict action must also be taken on those who provide a support system for these terrorists. The authorities must act on those who provide shelter, finance and other kinds of assistance to these sadists.
6) India must halt all talks with Pakistan until we are satisfied that not a single entity in the Pakistani government, armed forces and intelligent services are involved in the promotion or support of India-centric terror.
7) India must expose Pakistan’s sponsorship of terrorism in our country at various international forums, meetings and conventions especially at the United Nations.
8) The Govt must ban all communal political or social outfits which espouse violence against Indians based on their race, creed, caste or beliefs.
9) Police reforms and training is very essential in the fight against terror. Law enforcement agencies should be provided state-of-the-art weapons and gear to fight terrorists.
10) Citizens as individuals or in groups should assist law enforcement agents in the fight against terror in their individual capacity.
11) High rewards must be dished out to people who provide valuable information on terrorists. The reward scheme must be well publicized and commensurate with the kind of information given.
12) The NIA and RAW must be restructured and better organized to tackle the menace of terror. The new structure should be based on the Homeland Security of the US that has done a great job thus far. Terror-related information must be centralized and actionable inputs should be given as soon as possible to the various stakeholders like the state governments, local police, etc.
13) We should work with other governments and their law enforcement agencies in the fight against terror. Extradition treaties must be sought with almost every nation on this planet.
14) Our intelligence agencies must penetrate global terror networks with the aid of informants.
15) CCTVs and other anti-terror infrastructure should be available at strategic locations in major cities and towns. Each city should also have an NSG (commando) hub so that it can get speedy assistance in case of another 26/11 type of attack.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Chutney Bhugti and the 5 Point Taliban

(Dedicated to all the classy CB Trolls and their pearls of wisdom(s))

Once upon a time there lived a best selling Baluchi writer, Chutney Bhugti, who enjoyed taking selfies with Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Omar of the Quetta Shura. Not joining his beloved Taliban (the Pakistani version of the Sangh Parivar) was one of the three biggest mistakes of Chutney Bhugti's life and he humbly considered himself as a five point somebody (on a scale of 100). He loved writing open letters to the likes of Bilawal Bhutto as closed letters were quite expensive. He grilled Biloo (a la mode d’Arnab Ghostswami) on heated TV debates and sarcastic news columns for being part of a corrupt legacy, his personal failings as a politician and of being a dynastic heir – but not for his lunatic rantings on Kashmir. However, Chutney Bhugti kept strangely quiet when it came to the corruption, violence and misdeeds of Nawaz Sharif and the Taliban, whom he clicked a lot of selfies with.

But Chutney Bhugti purported not to favour any political party and yet would still go on "chai pe charchas" and mutton biryani luncheons with Nawaz Sharif and his band of merry men. According to Chutney, Sharif knew exactly what young Pakistani wanted and he alone could help make Revolution 2021 happen.  CB wrote books on these themes and countless bus drivers, ragpickers and ward boys soon decided that these books were sent down from heaven. And the royalties kept pouring in like nobody's business, especially since the middle class soon realised that CB’s novels were more effective and less expensive than the best flyswatters in the market – of which CB happened to be a bigger expert than even the CAG & Finance Minister combined.

Chutney Bhugti once said in an interview: “I’m not a good writer, but a good selling one. Writing is the new caste system. People run away for miles when writers like me enter a room and the entire place gets deserted like my own Baluchi desert.  I have to write open letters to people as they wouldn’t bother to open my closed letters.  Then I manage fake FB polls which show that 49% of Pakistanis would vote for Nawaz Sharif and 50% for the Taliban and the remaining 1% for Imran Khan, PPP, etc.  My fake FB polls are free and fair (in your dreams!) Then my day begins with cheerleading for Nawaz Sharif and ends with eulogising the Taliban in a subtle sort of way. But I don’t actually support any of them since I am an impartial observer. However, the long-bearded one-eyed Mullahs, just like the pretty girls, are always right (or self-righteous).”

In another political commentary, after openly encouraging Nawaz Sharif to indulge in horse-trading (since cows were costly), CB claimed that it was better to be a deshdrohi than someone who littered. “Road Litter (not Twitter, stupid) trolls keep tossing garbage from the streets (not tweets) into my living room and creating a mess. I had invited my Indian butcher-cum chaiwalla friend, Modi aka Afzal Khan Aka Fekounter Sahib Aka Butterfly&MothsKaSaudagar to sweep my room with the golden broom gifted by his industrialist buddy & coastal landgrabber, Mukesh Adani – the same guy who closed a 100 Swiss banks accounts in twenty days during election time. Anyways, Modi laid 3 absurd conditions for sweeping my room: (1) It would only be a Photo-op session with no major sweeping activity actually getting done (2) Minimum 2 Pakistani celebrities should pose with Modi for selfies at my home (3) During the photo-op, Modi would recite cliche phrases like “May the Force be with you”, “I’m king of the world (from Titanic), and “Show me the (black) money, Ambani.” However, the Pakistani celebrities refused to pose with Modi on the grounds that he did not have influence with tax and administrative authorities there and it would be a total waste of their time.

The question now arises that why would a cold-blooded Baluchi like CB support a hawkish Punjabi politician like Sharif - and the answer was that his wife whom he had met at a top management institute at Lahore was a Punjabi and so Green (or Paki) Chutney was a supporter of not one but 2 States.  Besides, Green Chutney was an ardent fan of those who persecuted the weaker sections of society and loved to justify this persecution again under the pretence of being an impartial observer. And so this charade went on....

Then one night at a Taliban centre, CB bumped into Mullah Omar, the Half Blind chieftain. who angrily hurled abuse in Pashtun before saying something like "Deti hai todevarnakot le" or some gibberish. CB explains what followed: “I wanted to take a selfie and be best buddies with the angry Mullah Omar. He didn’t. He wanted to wrangle my neck, boil me in hot water and feed my corpse to tigers. I didn’t. I hoped it was just a dream. It wasn’t. Mullah Omar and I finally reached a compromise – we agreed to become Half Enemies.”

I have written so much about CB in this article that writing any more will be like shifting the goal post after the match is over – in the first place that’s impossible, and in the second, even if it were possible, it would be useless. But CB wouldn’t  have ended his article here. I will!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Chutney Bhugti and the 5 Point Taliban

(Dedicated to all the classy CB Trolls and their pearls of wisdom(s))

Once upon a time there lived a best selling Baluchi writer, Chutney Bhugti, who enjoyed taking selfies with Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Omar of the Quetta Shura. Not joining his beloved Taliban (the Pakistani version of the Sangh Parivar) was one of the three biggest mistakes of Chutney Bhugti's life and he humbly considered himself as a five point somebody (on a scale of 100). He loved writing open letters to the likes of Bilawal Bhutto as closed letters were quite expensive. He grilled Biloo (a la mode d’Arnab Ghostswami) on heated TV debates and sarcastic news columns for being part of a corrupt legacy, his personal failings as a politician and of being a dynastic heir – but not for his lunatic rantings on Kashmir. However, Chutney Bhugti kept strangely quiet when it came to the corruption, violence and misdeeds of Nawaz Sharif and the Taliban, whom he clicked a lot of selfies with.

But Chutney Bhugti purported not to favour any political party and yet would still go on "chai pe charchas" and mutton biryani luncheons with Nawaz Sharif and his band of merry men. According to Chutney, Sharif knew exactly what young Pakistani wanted and he alone could help make Revolution 2021 happen.  CB wrote books on these themes and countless bus drivers, ragpickers and ward boys soon decided that these books were sent down from heaven. And the royalties kept pouring in like nobody's business, especially since the middle class soon realised that CB’s novels were more effective and less expensive than the best flyswatters in the market – of which CB happened to be a bigger expert than even the CAG & Finance Minister combined.

Chutney Bhugti once said in an interview: “I’m not a good writer, but a good selling one. Writing is the new caste system. People run away for miles when writers like me enter a room and the entire place gets deserted like my own Baluchi desert.  I have to write open letters to people as they wouldn’t bother to open my closed letters.  Then I manage fake FB polls which show that 49% of Pakistanis would vote for Nawaz Sharif and 50% for the Taliban and the remaining 1% for Imran Khan, PPP, etc.  My fake FB polls are free and fair (in your dreams!) Then my day begins with cheerleading for Nawaz Sharif and ends with eulogising the Taliban in a subtle sort of way. But I don’t actually support any of them since I am an impartial observer. However, the long-bearded one-eyed Mullahs, just like the pretty girls, are always right (or self-righteous).”

In another political commentary, after openly encouraging Nawaz Sharif to indulge in horse-trading (since cows were costly), CB claimed that it was better to be a deshdrohi than someone who littered. “Road Litter (not Twitter, stupid) trolls keep tossing garbage from the streets (not tweets) into my living room and creating a mess. I had invited my Indian butcher-cum chaiwalla friend, Modi aka Afzal Khan Aka Fekounter Sahib Aka Butterfly&MothsKaSaudagar to sweep my room with the golden broom gifted by his industrialist buddy & coastal landgrabber, Mukesh Adani – the same guy who closed a 100 Swiss banks accounts in twenty days during election time. Anyways, Modi laid 3 absurd conditions for sweeping my room: (1) It would only be a Photo-op session with no major sweeping activity actually getting done (2) Minimum 2 Pakistani celebrities should pose with Modi for selfies at my home (3) During the photo-op, Modi would recite cliche phrases like “May the Force be with you”, “I’m king of the world (from Titanic), and “Show me the (black) money, Ambani.” However, the Pakistani celebrities refused to pose with Modi on the grounds that he did not have influence with tax and administrative authorities there and it would be a total waste of their time.

The question now arises that why would a cold-blooded Baluchi like CB support a hawkish Punjabi politician like Sharif - and the answer was that his wife whom he had met at a top management institute at Lahore was a Punjabi and so Green (or Paki) Chutney was a supporter of not one but 2 States.  Besides, Green Chutney was an ardent fan of those who persecuted the weaker sections of society and loved to justify this persecution again under the pretence of being an impartial observer. And so this charade went on....

Then one night at a Taliban centre, CB bumped into Mullah Omar, the Half Blind chieftain. who angrily hurled abuse in Pashtun before saying something like "Deti hai todevarnakot le" or some gibberish. CB explains what followed: “I wanted to take a selfie and be best buddies with the angry Mullah Omar. He didn’t. He wanted to wrangle my neck, boil me in hot water and feed my corpse to tigers. I didn’t. I hoped it was just a dream. It wasn’t. Mullah Omar and I finally reached a compromise – we agreed to become Half Enemies.”

I have written so much about CB in this article that writing any more will be like shifting the goal post after the match is over – in the first place that’s impossible, and in the second, even if it were possible, it would be useless. But CB wouldn’t  have ended his article here. I will!

(P.S. My next piece could be an Ode to the eagerly awaited yet elusive ACCHE DIN)

Monday, October 6, 2014

The Vivekean Version of the Prodigal Son

(An Extract from Indians in Pakistan, the Action Thriller on terrorism)

‘It was all my fault,’ I said frankly. ‘I was blind then but now I see the truth. You were right and I was wrong.’

‘Mother would have been happy to see you,’ he told me, sadly. ‘Too bad she’s not around.’
‘Wh - where is she?’ I asked, looking around frantically for her.
‘It’s too late,’ he said. ‘She’s no longer in this world.’
‘Mother, mother,’ I continued, not heeding him. ‘Mother where are you?’
‘She’s dead, dear brother. She’s in heaven now.’
‘No, it cannot be. She cannot die! I need to tell her how much I love her. I need to tell her how sorry I am for walking away. I wanted to introduce her to Najma, my wife. I wanted to - ’

Words failed me at that moment and I sank to my knees. There were plenty of kind words from everyone around but there was nothing that could console me – not even the beautiful hands of Najma wrapped around my neck. I was truly inconsolable.


Visit the Fan Page of this exciting novel at https://www.facebook.com/IndiansInPakistan


Read the preview at 

http://pothi.com/pothi/book/vivek-pereira-indians-pakistan

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Let’s commemorate 9/11 this year by vowing to eradicate terrorism

Let’s commemorate 9/11 this year by vowing to eradicate terrorism from the face of the earth. To defeat these evil terrorists who perpetually threaten our world, we need to be aware of their bases, methods and designs. And there’s no better way of learning about them than by reading the action thriller “Indians in Pakistan”, which has it all: Romance, Information and Action (Category; Adult Fiction).

Buy this exciting novel in its Print or ebook format on leading online book retailers including Amazon, Pothi.com & Flipkart. The ebook format can be purchased on Amazon for less than 1 US$ or Rs 60 Only at http://www.amazon.in/Indians-Pakistan-Vivek-Pereira-ebook/dp/B00N0WYM5O

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Acche Din Aanewale *conditions apply

(A fictional Shakespearean speech by Amit Shah, Narendra Modi’s Mark Anthony - conceptualisation and translation by Vivek Pereira)

Fiends, Minorities and other second-class citizens, lend me your ears (or we’ll chop them right off and take them during the next riots, anyways). I come to praise NaMo not to bury him. The evil that men do lives after us. Goodness was never in my bones. So it is with NaMo. The noble Uma Bharati had once called Modi ‘Vinash Purush’ and he responded with “Et tu, Uma” and then took the help of the RSS to vanquish her. For NaMo is an honourable man…if you do not count his role in the 2002 riots and its subsequent cover-up, Snoopgate, various fake encounters, corrupt crony capitalistic dealings with Adani-Ambani, his disdainful treatment of senior leaders like Jaswant Singh, Advani, etc.

The next to wound him grievously was Smriti Irani, the saas-cum-bahu who announced that she would go on a fast unto death - in line with Ekta Kapoor’s ‘Acche Sanskaar’ - if Modi did not step down as CM. Godrej, other business leaders and human right activists then threatened to punish NaMo for the 2002 riots. But ambition is made of sterner stuff. His critics became astonishingly silent with threats, awards and fair compensation. Ratan Tata received an award from the ruling Vajpayee government and got land for his dream project: the highly unimaginative Nano. Business leaders now started flocking around Modi with sheer greed and elastic principles. But NaMo is an honourable man and he rewarded them for their support many times over. Then, he targeted top cops like Sanjiv Bhatt who saved many lives during the riots but claimed that Modi was far from innocent during the mayhem.  

And thought the ghosts of Gujarat continued to haunt, Modi became the BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate and promised the Indian electorate “Acche Din” in his campaign if he was voted in to power at the centre. And now he has won by a huge margin to become the Prime Minister of India. But NaMo is an honourable man and if you are surprised that there are ‘bure din’ instead of ‘acche din’ for you, then you probably did not read the “CONDITIONS APPLY” disclaimer in your haste to remove the UPA Government or rather the “Vatican-backed Delhi Sultanate.” For "acche din" would be delivered to you only if the following CONDITIONS are met: The horrific socio-political instability in the Middle East improves dramatically, oil prices fall mysteriously (instead of moving upwards), Sanghis stop persecuting minorities, neighbouring countries become genuinely friendly towards India and Pigs learn to fly.

Yes, it will be Acche Din for you if you are an Ambani or Adani, a rioter (such as member of the Hindu Rashtra Sena) who targets minorities, a union minister with a track record of rape, an HRD minister who has illegally fudged her educational qualifications, right wing activists like Col Purohit involved in terror plots, corrupt fascist politicians involved in scams in MP and Karnataka, international oil companies and people like Saheb and myself, Amit Shah, who are now in a position to quash the multitudes of potential cases against us and have started conjuring riot-like situations in states like UP and Maharashtra which are going to the polls! Yes, it is truly acche din for ‘honourable’ men like us.




Monday, October 7, 2013

Indians in Pakistan - Excerpts from Chapter 14 & 15


Ejaz and I met in a secluded area on Friday night. We were discussing possible courses of action when the sound of light footsteps interrupted us. Ejaz looked at me in silence and motioned for us to remain quiet. Suddenly the silhouettes of two men became visible in the darkness.

‘Who’s there?’ I queried.
‘It’s me, Akbar Bugto,’ whispered a voice. ‘And I have Omar Sheikh with me.’
‘We know exactly what you have been up to,’ said another voice.

There was a long spell of silence as Ejaz and I pondered the meaning of these words. Akbar Bugto was one of the support staff who hailed from Baluchistan. He was a handy man who worked at this camp in multiple roles including that of an electrician and a gardener. He was the most visible person on this campus. Omar Sheikh, the Kashmiri software engineer and main communications expert, on the other hand, was usually confined to the control room or the communications centre near the officers’ quarters.

‘What are you talking about?’ Ejaz asked Akbar. ‘Please explain your statement.’
‘I don’t need to explain it. All of us here know what I’m talking about.’ 
‘And that is…’
‘See for quite a while we have been keeping a watch on both of you…on our own.’
‘And what have you found out.’
‘That all of you, including the remaining Indian jihadis, are planning to run away. That Ejaz poisoned Commander Sharif. And lot’s more.’

When one’s darkest secrets are revealed out in the open in a casual almost lackadaisical sort of way, then even the bravest of men get petrified. This is exactly what happened to Ejaz and me that night. The stunned expression on Ejaz’s face informed me that I was not the only one whose head was swimming in confusion and despair. Was it the end of the road for us now?

 Read more at  http://pothi.com/pothi/book/vivek-pereira-indians-pakistan - Also available on Flipkart, Amazon.in and Infibeam