Sunday, April 29, 2018

Romeo and Juliet: An Updated Version for Bandra Buggers

- Written by Yours Truly many years ago

Juliet: (to herself) Which one of my boyfriends could it be knocking at my bedroom window at this unearthly hour? Oh, it’s Romeo!!!

Juliet: (To Romeo) Romeo, you bledy bugger – What are you up to, men? Get down from the tree before you fall and break your b…...”

Romeo: I climbest this tree to express my love for thou – a love that can survive tempests and tsunamis.

Juliet: Romeo, dearest, dost thou havest – a car, a flat, or an ipad?

Romeo: I haveth none of the above.

Juliet: Then how dost thou dare to love? Thou livest in a fool’s paradise. I cannot love thee.

Romeo: I just inherited a cool million from an uncle who passed away. He was quite a rich dude. The cash is in the bank.

Juliet: I truly love thee now, my Romeo.

Romeo: Why dost thou not respond to my SMSes, my darling? Thou knowest how much I love thee especially after thou went under the plastic surgeon’s scalpel.

Juliet: A Daniel, still say I, a second Daniel!

Romeo: I think that’s from the “Merchant of Venice”.

Juliet: Oops! I’m acting in it as well.

Romeo: Anyways, Juliet, I simply adoreth your beautiful blue eye lenses and your brown hair so immaculately dyed.

Juliet: So what shall we do now, my hero? My parents cannot stand the sight of you…I mean thou or whatever.

Romeo: Let’s run away and have a long-term live-in relationship.

Juliet: What about killing ourselves with poison?

Romeo: Okey dokey, my love. Your wish is my command.

Juliet: I was just kidding – I’m not a loser like you. Get lost, creep.

Romeo: OK. I’ll try to patao Bianca from tomorrow onwards. Any idea if she’s still single and ready to mingle?

Sunday, May 14, 2017

What Ever Happened to India Against Corruption?

The charges and counter charges between Kapil Mishra, Aam Aadmi Party and the BJP only reveal that there are no honest politicians in India today – only two-faced hypocrites. It is extremely foolish of the BJP and Congress to take a ‘holier than thou’ stance since they do not practice cleanliness in their electoral politics either. Yes, you're guilty even if you accept dirty money for your kin or party.

If some politicians are still considered clean, it's usually due to the takeover of media houses, lack of evidence, U-turns of eye witnesses (with money changing hands), bungling or complicity of investigating agencies, or the existence of labyrinths (such as a network of shell companies) created to conceal the scams.

Have you ever stopped to think why no political party is now asking for the full implementation of the Lokpal Act? Because it suits them all. Aam Aadmi fought for the Lokpal Act. The Congress and BJP promised to deliver on TV debates, but now all of them suffer from selective amnesia. And they're corrupt because their sycophants and blind supporters continue to vote them in election and election. Yes, it is you who are to blame!

During the height of the demonetization drive when our older citizens were forced to stand in hour-long queues just to deposit their own money, all political parties were given legal immunity to deposit their black money comprising of the defunct 500 and 1000 Rupee notes in banks. There has been precious little done to bring about transparency in electoral funding either as crony capitalism reigns supreme. And, to top it all, bribing voters with alcohol and money is a given in almost every election. 

Yet there continues to be a political slugfest among the parties trying to outwit each other and proving which one of them is the most corrupt, as ‘In the land of the Blind, the one-eyed man will be King.’

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Indians in Pakistan Ebook is Now Free for a Week - Only at Smashwords ‘Read an Ebook Week’

The war on the Islamic State/Daesh has nearly ended. The ruthless terrorists have been decimated in Mosul, their erstwhile stronghold in Iraq. In Syria, the brave Kurdish Peshmerga units have surrounded Raqqa and defeat for the Daesh is almost certain. There was a tame surrender at Al Bab, and the rest of the Levant will soon be freed from their evil clutches.

As Terrorists around the globe face the heat, an action-packed novel dissects the anatomy of this evil menace with awe-inspiring content. Indians in Pakistan is an exciting novel that will surely entertain and enlighten you, revealing bitter truths, warped perceptions and diabolical designs, which together make the Indian subcontinent one of the most dangerous regions of the world. Check out the amazing book trailer at

Enjoy your spring break by browsing through some of the best books of our times available only on and grab hold of ‘Read an Ebook Week’
Specials for March 5–11. Book buyers will need to log in to their Smashwords account (or create a new account in seconds) and select the #bestselling book of your choice in the preferred reading format.

Hurry! The bestseller Indians in Pakistan is available for Free only this week! 
View its Facebook page at

Saturday, December 17, 2016

'Twas The Night After Christmas

 (A Parody on X'mas written at the start of the Millennium)

'Twas the night after Christmas, when partying was done,
The world had got drained of all the laughter and fun,
Empty booze bottles lay scattered around,
Ambitious Christmas dreams had crashed on the ground .

The feelings of peace, love and goodwill had gone,
Men fought and quarrelled till the break of the dawn,
Sorrow and depression were replacing happiness and cheer,
This would be the trend until Christmas next year.

The shopping spree was over, the money had vanished,
The spirit of Christmas had been altogether banished,
The decorations so beautiful, no one admired them any more,
This joyous, merry season had become a bore.

I sat on the sofa, a frown on my face,
My world was in tatters, I was losing the race,
My wife had been crying, her eyes were quite red,
She cursed me so fiercely, I wished I was dead.

The children were sad, no smile did they give,
Their cheeks stained with tears, they were learning to live,
For their fantasy world had been smashed into parts,
The new gifts were broken, and so were their hearts.

I opened the door, and went for a stroll,
When I bumped into Santa, the legend from the North Pole,
His face was not merry, his shoulders drooped low,
This icon of Christmas had nowhere to go.

"I distributed no presents, my elves were on strike",
He told me very sadly, "They wanted a hike";
I left the poor creature alone in the cold,
There was no love for life but only for gold.

The warmth of the season, it had turned into ice,
Since mankind had forgotten the art of being nice,
'Twas the night after Christmas, when most of us sighed,
For the magic of Christmas had faded and died.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Analysing the Note Ban Saga

My issue with the whole thing is why was the RBI flooding the ATMs and banks with 500 & 1000 INR currency notes when they had already planned to withdraw these notes six months ago. Was it to harass the public? All bank counters and ATMs were dishing out only 1000 and 500 Rupee notes in these past six months. Senior citizens and the poor will be deeply affected by this move. Let s forget the black money folks for a while. And, we re not sure what can happen to the economy at this stage? Choppy waters for the stock and currency markets for sure! And why are there no measures to curb black money in the stock market through participatory notes and the inflow of tainted funds to political parties? Why are political parties still allowed to accept black money? They have good intentions but poor implementation - the time window should have been at least 3 months. And, how will it help if the present currency notes were once used by terrorists and changed hands twenty times. Will they slap charges of terrorism on the poor, ignorant, innocent accountholder who accepted money in good faith and went to deposit it in his bank account? That would be ridiculous!

About a Ban on Participatory Notes:

Still wondering why Modi did not ban participatory notes as they are possibly more dangerous than the defunct high value currency notes when it comes to black money hoarding, round tipping, money laundering, corruption, terror funding and benami deals. What are your views on the miniscule action taken on participatory notes when they pose a much bigger threat? Is n t it like locking your front door tightly when leaving your home but leaving your back door wide open for thieves?

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Indians in Pakistan Vs Recent Surgical Strikes

I wonder if the recent surgical strikes by the Indian forces in Pakistan-occupied Kashmir (POK) were as action-packed as this extract from our thriller 'Indian in Pakistan':

When my mobile alarm went off (with a lowered volume), according to the plan, I got ready to fire. But the deafening sounds of rockets exploding on impact reverberated throughout the valley. I found it difficult to keep my hands steady to shoot and bided my time. And when I finally did fire, mine was one of the last rockets to take off. It did find its target though and added to the stupendous scale of devastation that had happened in just over a minute or so. More than twenty rockets had been fired in all, although there had also been a couple of misfires and at least one of them had gone totally wide off the mark.

Plumes of smoke, huge fires and scattered debris could be clearly seen from our strategic positions despite the presence of dust clouds all around. Panicky men were shouting, screaming, weeping and running. They looked all over but could not spot us. We had already hit them hard.

Two more waves of rocket attacks increased the devastation as well as the chaos. Artillery shells from the first tank seemed to strike the main installations and structures in the middle to devastating effect. Meanwhile, we received news that the second tank had been successfully destroyed. The victorious group would be joining the rest of the unit in the next stage of the battle.

The next stage was the close combat stage where the rest of the unit excluding us would enter the campgrounds and cause mayhem. The relentless sound of AK47s firing, rocket attacks and hand grenade explosions rent the air. From our elevated position on the hills, we aimed at the centre of the camp with our RPG launchers and AK47s. We aimed at the middle of the ground so as to avoid killing our own men who were infiltrating the camp from all sides.

Those who endeavoured to flee the camp from the main entrance were ambushed in a brutal assault by both the groups stationed in the area. In fact, the group that had destroyed the second tank provided valuable support to these groups. The rockets, grenades and bullets must have killed scores of men.
Most of the main targets had been destroyed by now. Both the helicopters had been blown up with rockets. One of them had managed to take off and was just a few metres high when it had been attacked. The solitary tank on the grounds was permanently damaged by an explosion. The guard towers and ammunition depot had been obliterated too. Moreover, all the buildings had been reduced to rubble.

But there were casualties on our side as well. A few had died accidentally because of unfortunate instances of friendly firing. Someone had stepped on a mine in the distance and had most probably been killed.
My night vision scope had caught all the action wonderfully. But the battle was still far from won. The enemy was fighting fiercely now as most of the survivors had woken up fully from their slumber. Some of them launched a counterattack against us. They must have even called for some aerial support by now. I wished we could leave immediately but Younus did not give any orders for a retreat as yet.

And then things began to go wrong. Someone managed to scale the hillock and kill Abdullah. Mohsin fired at the enemy. But he was critically wounded before he had incapacitated his opponent. The brave lad lay on the ground, breathing heavily. Najma, Afzal and I went up to him...

Saturday, July 23, 2016

May Your Star Shine Far and Bright: An Appeal for Peace in Kashmir

An Open letter to Kashmiris by Vivek Pereira, Author of the Novel 'Indians in Pakistan' (a book on ISI-sponsored terrorism with a strong focus on Kashmir)

My Dear Kashmiri Brothers and Sisters,

The recent events in and around the valley have stirred our nation like never before. For as Kashmir weeps, most of us weep with her; and when Kashmir bleeds, most of us bleed with her. The bullets, stones and pellets may continue to fly thick and fast but not thick or fast enough to destroy the great bond of brotherhood that exists between us. Being the author of a novel with a strong focus on Kashmir as well as a fellow Indian with deep-rooted secular credentials, I dare address you as my brothers and sisters, for that is what you are.

Today hope manifests itself as a distant star blurring away in the horizon. Terrorists continue to sneak in from across the border with impunity despite the tough security measures in place. Homegrown extremists like Wani have started using the gun to express themselves. A few overzealous or callous police officers and military personnel have sometimes made grave errors and even committed serious crimes that have only compounded the situation. Floods, unemployment and lack of infrastructure have further crippled the valley.

In spite of all this, we need to cling on to that distant, fleeting hope. For things can get far worse from now on. The Pakistani army and ISI are doing everything possible to increase the level of violence in Kashmir. Global terror outfits like the Islamic State, Taliban and Al Qaeda are waiting to turn Kashmir into an extremist caliphate like they have in Syria and Afghanistan where there is non-stop violence including horrific tales of rape, slaughter and barbaric torture.

But our tryst with destiny is not over as yet. In fact, this is just the beginning. Kashmir is at the crossroads and the decisions you make today will help shape the future of your great civilization, the future of India and possibly that of all mankind. Yes, the future of the whole of mankind rests in your hands, my Kashmiri brethren. For if your star shines bright enough and far enough, it will inspire millions of people facing persecution and despair in Muslim countries as well as the rest of the world.

Kashmir is, was and shall always be an integral part of our great nation. When India gained independence, Lord Mountbatten and other British leaders had asked the leaders of each princely state to choose between India or Pakistan, and your erstwhile ruler had chosen to remain with India. This decision was respected by the international community, but not by Pakistan who immediately sent their Pashtun tribesmen to invade Kashmir in 1948. Certain Anti-Indian Resolutions were passed in the United Nations by vested interests in those early times and India was asked to hold a plebiscite in Kashmir after Pakistani troops were fully withdrawn from the region. Both India and Pakistan will never follow the conditions in these resolutions which have today become highly irrelevant.

Over the years Indian-administered Kashmir evolved into a modern region with a firm democratic setup, moderate infrastructure and several tourist hubs. Its growth story left the Pakistanis jealous and infuriated especially after Bangladesh had broken free from their evil clutches. So they chose to wound Kashmir deeply in the past four decades with the diversion of billions of dollars in aid and millions of tons of weaponry which have been generously given to them by the American, Saudi and the Chinese governments.

Your local leadership has failed you often, but so has the political leadership fallen short in the rest of the country. Yes, Kashmir is in the same boat as the rest of India. Politicians have become corrupt, callous and narrow minded. Fascist organizations, both Hindu and Muslim, threaten and abuse us as well as our way of life. Rights are being trampled, freedom is being suppressed. Yes, we must fight these evil designs together, but with the power of words and not the brutality of the gun. We must debate, argue and influence through our words and deeds, and not let bullets and stones do the talking.

And that is where Wani was wrong. For those who live by the gun shall perish by it. Unfortunately, many more innocent people are perishing along with Wani, uniformed and civilian. It's time to bring a halt to this madness and set Kashmir on the right path to peace and prosperity. The choice is yours to make. Discourage stone pelting and militancy, and encourage constructive debate, entrepreneurship and democracy. Above all, you must nurture a secular mindset in the valley that respects and appreciates people from different religious, linguistic and cultural backgrounds. 

Sadly enough there are a few people in India who look at Kashmir as just a piece of real estate and overlook the millions of Kashmiris, their emotions and their ambitions. Some of these have reached the highest echelons of power. They are our enemies too. They are the same lot who do not subscribe to the secular, socialistic idea of India. We fight them tooth and nail online and offline. But our means are just and peaceful. For violence begets violence; and the victors are usually communal politicians, blood-thirsty terrorists or a combination of both.

The union government of India and security personnel must take strict action not only against terrorists but also their own men whenever they violate the rule of law or use disproportionate force against innocent Kashmiris. Let Kashmiriyat and Insaniyat be the guiding principles for the people of Kashmir as well as those who govern them. There are a few things you need to do on high priority. Welcome the Pandits back into the valley, usher in a new era of development there and restore Kashmir back to its former glory. Is this too much to ask?
I would like to end this appeal with a lengthy quote from Nehru's famous speech at the dawn of our independence.
"To the people of India (and its state of Kashmir, I may add), whose representatives we are, we make an appeal to join us with faith and confidence in this great adventure. This is no time for petty and destructive criticism, no time for ill will or blaming others. We have to build the noble mansion of free India where all her children may dwell.
The appointed day has come - the day appointed by destiny - and India stands forth again, after long slumber and struggle, awake, vital, free and independent. The past clings on to us still in some measure and we have to do much before we redeem the pledges we have so often taken. Yet the turning point is past, and history begins anew for us, the history which we shall live and act and others will write about.
A new star rises, the star of freedom in the east, a new hope comes into being, a vision long cherished materializes. May the star never set and that hope never be betrayed by!"
Arise O Kashmiris, may your star rise and never set. Here's wishing you unending peace, prosperity and happiness. History shall begin anew!

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Will GST Be Beneficial for Consumers in India?

GST will almost certainly be passed in the monsoon session of parliament. It will be wonderful news for the union and state governments, the economists, the political parties who will rush to claim credit (not input credit) for its passage and the businessmen who will no longer be harassed by multiple tax authorities and will find the new tax system extremely streamlined with fewer hassles.

But what's in store for the consumers? Not very good news, I m afraid. The tax rates for goods and services may be 20% or higher and it is bound to lead to inflation, at least in the short term. GST may have a profound impact on Indian eCommerce as all online transactions would be subject to this tax. Then there is the recommendation of 40% GST on aerated drinks as a form of sin tax since these drinks are considered unhealthy. I found this a ridiculous argument as it will open a pandora s box and make taxation in India arbitrary, judgmental and discriminatory.

And finally the most stupid recommendation. GST may put the onus on the buyer to check whether the seller has paid goods and service tax (GST). So, if I eat at a restaurant and pay the bill with GST on it, should I ask the restaurant owner to show me his tax details?

Let's hope that better sense prevails and the form of GST dished out to us is more consumer-friendly and less taxing!

Saturday, June 25, 2016

My Take On The Brexit Outcome

I wasn’t surprised by the #Brexit vote at all. The Leave verdict is not as xenophobic as it has been made out to be. Perhaps a demarcation needs to be made between a vitriolic campaign of opportunistic political hawks and millions of British citizens who just wanted independence from the clutches of the European Union. Racism did play a role, but it would have been a very miniscule role, in my opinion.

Although I detest the Great Mexican Wall of Donald Trump, I did think #Brexit was not a bad idea at all for the Brits. It put their economy back in their own hands. How would Indians feel if our economic decisions were made in Kabul? Exactly. #Brexit was also a fallout of the poor handling of the economy and the result of immigration policies that put the kingdom at great risk from terrorists sneaking in from other European countries.

Great Britain and the world now need to stem the tide and ensure that opportunities are not wasted. The British government and its people can prove to the world that the #Brexit verdict was not influenced greatly by bigotry and racism. They can have a tougher yet reasonable immigration policy which screens applicants thoroughly for their propensity to commit crime or acts of terror but that does not bar them on the basis of their religion, nationality or ethnic background. The Brits need to give a big thumbs down to the likes of Donald Trump who will deliberately misconstrue the verdict of the referendum with false propaganda to gain backing for their xenophobic campaigns.

Saturday, June 18, 2016

How A Pop Song Miraculously Got Rid of My Fear of the Supernatural

Winter mornings are darker, and I usually scampered quickly down the short path towards the church to offer assistance during the early morning mass as an altar boy. But there were two small cemeteries on either side of the path and it could be quite scary for a young boy especially if there was no on else around.

Now if I had recited the religious chants of the Warrens in the Conjuring 2 or the rosary or even the wonderful Hanuman Chalisa may be there would have been nothing to fear. But my thoughts were extremely secular even then and I chose to recite the words of a popular pop song that alleviated all my fears and kept me cool and composed even though I was but a child.

My miraculous song was the catchy theme song of the first Ghostbusters movie sung by Ray Parker Jr. I still love the lyrics and I feel that if any of you want to truly overcome your fear of the supernatural, just recite these words:

If there's something strange
In you neighborhood
Who you gonna call
If there's something weird
And it don't look good
Who you gonna call
I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

A few years later, I had to go for a 3-day retreat at Lonavala, but could only make it in the morning of the second day. We were amused to find that only the two of us would be sleeping in the entire second floor while the rest, about 40 young men, about 20 years of age, were occupying the first floor below us. We soon found out that the previous night there was a spooky story telling session that scared the living daylights out of our buddies. I slept soundly for the next 3 nights although I was alone in a room in a long empty corridor  far away from home. That was the amazing power of this song!

And now there's a controversy that some male chauvinists have a problem with ladies playing the lead role in the latest Ghostbusters Movie. I strongly feel that people should be always judged by their performance and not by their religion, caste, race, gender or socio-economic class!